Sunday, June 3, 2012

Divas' Playboy Pictorials

Seven WWE Divas have posed for Playboy magazine on eight occasions. Let's face it, I've probably already lost you, so I'll speed things up. In the following slideshow, you will find each of the Divas' Playboy pictorials ranked and graded. There's an explanation written in each slide, if you make it that far.

Two former WWE Divas—Tiffany and Maryse—posed for Playboy before joining the company. I'm not ranking them, but I felt it necessary to point them out. 


Instead, I will sum them up in one phrase each.
  • Tiffany: Skip it.
  • Maryse: Good God.
 
#8 Chyna (2000) Grade: D
 
The spread honestly does its best to bring out the femininity of Chyna—hair blowing in the wind in one scene, showering in the next. It also tries to accentuate her muscle-bound body by featuring her in a chain-like outfit set in a futuristic background. No matter what, her enormous biceps, triceps and quadriceps stand out.

#7 Christy Hemme (2005) Grade: C-

As far as Playboy shoots go, former WWE Diva Christy Hemme didn't offer much. Although, she seemed set to fail from the start. After Sable finally gave fans nothing left to imagine, Chyna shocked many by posing nude. Afterwards, Torrie Wilson surprised many by modeling nude. Wilson, of course, was followed by a dual spread with Sable. With the shock of any WWE Diva posing for Playboy gone—as well as the shock value produced by Chyna and the good girl no one expected in Wilson—it didn't matter who went next. No matter what, it wouldn't be as good. Hemme's spread is only average. Her hair is all over the place and her outfits (or lack thereof) are distracting. For exuding sexiness everywhere else, Hemme's Playboy pictorial is disappointing.
 
#6 Maria (2008) Grade: C

Maria's Playboy pictorial lies right in the middle of the pack. It's decent to look at while you're looking, but forgettable as soon as you put it away (I'm talking about the magazine). She doesn't have the greatest figure of the bunch, but her body is the perfect type to make anyone a "leg person."

#5 Ashley Massaro (2007) Grade: B-

In the WWE, Ashley Massaro was hot. Posing for various other outlets, Massaro was still very, very hot. In her first stints posing for Playboy—in elegant, "girl next door" pictorials—it was more of the same. However, by the time she posed while working for the WWE with her hardcore punk gimmick, it was much less hot. Not to take away from her stunning figure, but the spread could have been so much more.

#4 Candice Michelle (2006) Grade: B+

Candice Michelle's Playboy spread is sexy, simple and elegant. She poses with no flashy costumes on a bed of gold. There's nothing to distract from her killer figure and it's tasteful.

#3 Torrie Wilson (2003) Grade: A

While Sable seemed to be the Diva that teased fans so much that Playboy seemed destined to be the next step, Torrie Wilson was the opposite. She teased, but she still always felt like the girl next door—smoking hot, but untouchable. It was quite a shock when she posed nude. Naturally, the shoot included the obligatory "Diva with water being dumped on her" pose.


#2 Sable (1999) Grade: A
 
Not only was she one of the first drop dead gorgeous women in the company, Sable was the first WWE Diva to pose nude for the famed Playboy magazine. She nailed it—twice. In 1999, Sable posed for Playboy two times. Once in April, once in September. Sable was one that many fans never seemed to get enough of, and she clearly knew it. From Evening Gown matches to the famous Bikini Contest—which she won with only black body-painted hand prints covering her—Sable did everything she could to tease fans. Naturally, her issues of Playboy were two of the largest sellers in history. The question is, are the spreads any good? They are. Though she taunted fans with the goods in the ring, the spread was done in elegant fashion. Sable's first pictorial includes a background draped in white and the slow removal of white, see-through clothing. The second is a bit edgier, with Sable dressed in black knee-high boots and matching elbow-high gloves.
 
#1 Sable and Torrie (2004) Grade: A+
 
The saying "two is better than one" has never proven more true. The Sable and Torrie Wilson spread is simply amazing. Two blondes—one from today and the other from yesterday, still aging like fine wine—posing together nude. It's the perfect mix.Sable's the bad girl, Wilson's the good girl. The funny thing is, for how gorgeous Wilson is, Sable makes her look average.

1 comment:

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